female smoker list

I have not written in ages.� Donapos;t really know why.� I guess Iapos;ve just been too busy feeling sorry for myself, but what else is new.� No more of that. �I just need to deal with it.� I know Iapos;m a failure.� But if thereapos;s one thing Iapos;m not going to fail at is being skinny.� I will get there.� No matter what it takes.� I donapos;t give a damn anymore.� Iapos;ll just goo on fucking SSDI and work my part time hours at the fire department.� Get medicaid.� Considering I no longer have insurance.� Itapos;s just a matter of time before I�end up IP again.� And quite honestly I donapos;t really care about that either.� As long as Iapos;m skinny.� Ah maybe *Leslie and I will end up in at the same time.� That would make things much better.� Sheapos;s much closer to being admitted than I�am.� So she just needs to cheat the system for a while until I lose enough weight haha.� They said if she loses five more pounds sheapos;s going IP.� So weapos;re gonna have to cheat to keep her out until I�have to go.� Current weight 145.2.

*name changed for privacy
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